A friend I love asked me the following, “Why are you so bigoted against Christianity? What is odd, is you don't even understand what you are against (the so-called "ex-gay" movement, for example).” The following is my response:
You ask a question, which I’ll answer later, and then you make a statement which I’ll address first. (Ironically, the statement is probably key, but the question provides more room for a response.) You say that I don’t understand what I’m writing about. You’re wrong. I think you know you’re wrong. I think what bothers you about my opinions is that you know that I don’t have knee-jerk reactions (as you don’t) and therefore that my comments (in this case “ridiculous anti-gay Christian movement”) are not simplistic blather but rather include a great deal of deep analysis. In addition, the fact that I put such an opinion on my FB page for everyone to see must mean that I’ve not only thought deeply about it but that I also consider it a very important message for those who read my page.
Now, you could form a few questions about why I wrote this comment, and reading the article [about Christine O’Donnell’s Gay Former Aide ] would suggest a few answers. But the real problem is that my experience with the anti-gay Christian movement is very different from your experience. We both know that. Whereas you have worked with a man who seeks to improve Christian understanding of homosexuality in order to at least eliminate hatred and open dialogue, I work with students whose families and churches have kicked them out into the street because of the anti-gay Christian movement. You might argue that such actions are not “Christ-like,” and I would want to agree with you, but those actions are very Christian. Christians kick their gay children out in the street. It’s what happens. A lot. It’s actually the rare Christian family who sends its son to be treated at a center such as the one Wade Richards attended. As Matt Chandler says so well, the enemy of Christianity is often the church – the leaders of the church fail to understand that Jesus wants the rose (or the gay man struggling with his core identity).
And I know this. I have experienced a father who would kick his son out for wearing an earring, let alone for actually being gay. And he would do this because he is a Christian. I know how “ridiculous” this movement is – and in fact don’t find it ridiculous at all. I find it hate-filled, blasphemous, and downright evil. But I didn’t want to say that on my FB page.
And on to the question: Why am I bigoted against Christianity?
I was surprised by your word choice in the question, so I looked up “bigot” and found:
From Wikipedia: “A bigot is a person obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices, especially one exhibiting intolerance, irrationality, and animosity toward those of differing beliefs or genetics. The predominant usage in modern American English refers to persons hostile to those of differing race, ethnicity, nationality, sexual orientation, various mental disorders and religion.”
Gee, that almost fits. I would withhold “irrationality” because my bigoted stance is nothing if not rational, and I would hesitate at the word “belief” because it isn’t so much belief I have any problem with, it is ethical behavior, but overall, I’ll buy your vocabulary. So, what does it mean for me to be bigoted against Christianity.
Well, first let’s be clear that I’m not remotely bigoted against people who believe in Jesus and agape and the Golden Rule. In fact, I would argue that Ann Lamott is one of the more loving and caring authors I could suggest people read. She’s generous and caring and compassionate. She detests evil which she defines as poverty, primarily, and the devastating social consequences of a living in a society which claims to be Christian but would rather build a new steeple than hand out condoms and clean needles. In Wilkes County, she might be burned as the liberal humanist hippy she is. But she’s certainly a Christian. So, it’s not her I’m bigoted against. It’s the people who would burn her.
Or burn the Quoran or Harry Potter or Matthew Shepard or Huckleberry Finn. Edmund Burke said, "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." That is why I am bigoted. Because Christianity as it is taught and practiced is often evil. It promotes racism, sexism, homophobia, war, poverty, general ignorance, hatred, and child abuse. And I am obstinately opposed to all such things.
Now, are you like this? Of course not. Neither, you tell me, are your friends who are Christians. And neither are my friends who are Christians. But your friends and my friends are not Terry Jones or Franklin Graham. Your friends and my friends don’t run the Southern Baptist Association which promotes open sexism in every church. Your friends and my friends don’t believe the Earth was created 6000 years ago (I hope they don’t) or that the Bible was originally written in Early Modern English. Your friends and my friends are the great so-called “silent majority” who fail repeatedly to silence the idiots who actually define Christian thought in America – idiots like Sarah Palin and Terry Jones and The 700 Club. The thing is that these “idiots” aren’t stupid. They are playing the media for all it is worth, ironically while arguing that it is controlled by some liberal agenda – the only signs of which are the few attempts for the media to actually provide critical analysis.
And I know I don’t stand alone in condemning much of what I just said. In fact, the full-page ad in the New York Times put out by major Christian leaders condemning Terry Jones is an example of such leaders getting a conscience. And the leader of the largest Christian church in America, Joel Osteen, regularly preaches a message of hope for his congregants (and sells silly little birds, too). And, of course, there is you: thoughtful, caring, engaged, thinking critically about the world and how your faith fits in.
Let me put it this way, I am bigoted against the bigotry that is the common Christian thought which surrounds me. If a bigot is one who is “hostile to those of differing race, ethnicity, nationality, sexual orientation, various mental disorders and religion,” then most of the Christian leaders in my life have been open bigots. And most of the people I meet who identify themselves as Christians are open bigots. And if you aren’t sure what is meant by hostile, let me be clear: as long as Christian thought places women in social structures below the men who beat them, provides arguments in favor of adults hitting children, and celebrates sending gay men to burn for eternity, then I find it intolerable. That’s the word: “Intolerable.”
And if you aren’t a Christian who believes this way, then you aren’t someone I’m bigoted against. If you don’t identify with the idiots who control the Christian message of this country, then I wouldn’t be prejudiced against your views. However, I cannot say that I could completely empathize with anyone who wanted to spend eternity worshipping a god who would create hell.
One final point: I’ve wondered where my bigotry comes from, and I’ve a few places.
1. My own Christianity which taught me that I was better than other people because I was a white man who read English and was American just like Jesus. Ahhh, Sunday school
2. My own Christian experience of being saved – and feeling that moment of sublime joy which immediately translated into a stunning open love for everyone
3. My redefinition of agape as anti-authoritarian upon learning that my Baptist college wouldn’t knowingly let a gay man matriculate; and then learning that my military wouldn’t either
4. My recognition of the damaging effects of the intentional ignorance of religious belief upon those who were trying to learn in my classroom
5. My realization that the hits I received as a child and which damaged the core of my soul were delivered so that my father could continue being a good Christian father
6. My understanding that my good Christian grandparents would rather stand by a pedophile and claim his Christianity than stand by his victims in their time of need
7. My deeply felt anger at the treatment of women, children, and gay men in our society
And I know that more such places exist, but these are some – in particular, I simply cannot reconcile my feeling of being saved and realizing agape with the constant judgments and hatred expressed by so many Christians around me.
